As someone who began writing about gun politics in the ‘zine community over ten years ago, I was always curious if anyone else might eventually take a similar path. Despite the great quantity of political topics covered by ‘zinesters, it was rare to find more than a passing mention of firearms in any context, pro or con. Then almost three years ago, I came across a thin, glossy pamphlet titled How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety. The cover was reminiscent of AGCR #4 (The Cute Issue) from 2009, and I bought it immediately.

An outtake from the cover shoot session, with Other Cat (RIP 1/5/16)
and a Springfield X D subcompact 9mm

This proved to be a delightful satiric work, published by the “American Association of Patriots” and packed with pun-laced advice for armed cat owners. Beside helpful tips on safety, it also provided insight into the types of enemies felines might confront, from houseold intruders, to United Nations personnel and troublesome ghosts.

This outtake featuring Mortgage Cat and X D

I soon passed it on to another person who appreciated both firearms and felines, but recently a friend gave me a new copy. My attention regained, I decided to discover more about the enigmatic AAP. After much work convincing them my weblog has no connection with the Communist Party or ZOG (Zionist Occupation Government), a representative finally agreed to answer some questions:

What’s your publishing background? Was Cat Safety a first? Do you have other plans ?

The How to Talk to Your Cat… guides are currently a collaboration between myself and my grandfather Josiah, the founder of the American Association of Patriots. How to Talk to your Cat About Gun Safety was the first one I worked on with him, but he has been writing and publishing since his first brochure in 1974, Protecting Your Cats From the Viet-Cong Menace.

There are three publications currently in print: How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety, Evolution, and Abstinence. We are also excited to announce that this fall, the patriots at Random House, the same company that publishes Bill O’Reilly’s books, will be publishing a full-length compilation of How to Talk to Your Cat… guides, including never before seen topics like Satanism and Post-Apocalyptic Survival.

Do the cats pictured belong to AAP members?

The two cats pictured in How to Talk to Your Cat Evolution are our own, and the one on the cover of Abstinence belongs to a close friend, who happily to let us borrow their feline for promoting such a noble cause. The other cats are all from the internet.

What is the AAP political stance regarding firearms?

The debate over the right to bear arms is not just a philosophical argument – in this era of constant government overreach by Barack Hussein Nobama, a well-armed citizenry is essential to keeping our government from sliding further into tyranny. Today it might be the freedom to own guns, but tomorrow it could be something far worse, like the freedom to own cats! George Washington understood this, Abraham Lincoln understood it, and Ronald Reagan understood it. America is the greatest country in the world, and it is essential that citizens be allowed to own guns without regulation in order to protect themselves from the government.

Thanks for your time. Good luck with those other projects!